Hot Dog

Hello!

This weekend has been very progressive for me, I was able to stay home alone and fully enjoy the silence. I can't remember the last time I was able to experience that. Total silence! It felt so good! Usually I listen to some music to get distracted from annoying noises back there in Portugal. I live in a ghetto, so silence there is nearly unknown to me. If its not gipsies screaming at each other on a daily basis ( and they are my next  door neighbours ) it's dogs barking, or cats fighting, cars drifting, cops sirens... oh well. Just the first day here in Havøysund, I felt renewed. Since I had my breakdown I kinda have a cronic headache. Its not a headache precisely, but it's an uncomfortable sensation on the top of my head. Like if I'm carrying heavy Bible-like books piled up on the top of my head. Although yesterday I felt like it was fading, kinda like a steam pot under pressure releasing the steam. I was able to take off the cork out and release whatever was pressuring my head, just  listening to the sound of silence ( not the music, it's literally the sound of silence, like...you get it...).

The day was going out great for me but the weather wasn't tuned with me at all. I was about to meet my sister at her workplace with her niece, when all of the sudden, I was nearly carried away by the wind. And damn... As if my body wasn't freezing  all over, I thought I would never change my facial expression ever (haha and it wasn't a pleasant one either). And my sister's niece was perfectly normal. Pathetic. She is only 5 years old, and she was the one babysitting me: "Bruna!!! You're doing all wrong. You can get caught on the snow storm...". I know Lianne. I was just... I'm ok. " You have to walk like this whenever the wind hits you". Oh... yeah. I know that. I was about to... lets go home, shall we? 

I drew a few things... But still not satisfied. I'm not forcing anything, but sometimes it is fustrating. I want to draw. Feel like drawing something. Not just "Ok, Bruna. You really need to snap ou of it! DRAW GODDAMMIT DRAW!" No, not this. It will start all over again. 

 what's wrong with this people??? Is it friggin' freezing or its just me...?

I tried to meditate on Saturday. It feels nice, this is the right place for it. But of course, like all the first times it was a mess. Didn't dress properly, uncomfortable positions, tried every positions to reach and... I'm still talking about meditation you pervs. But I'm willing to pratice more. Thanks to my great spiritual-Zen-Fenshui'ish friend Darsy. He taught me how. About 2 months ago. But I googled it. Oh internet...

Oh and... I'm sorry in advance for my mistakes. My english its not very accurate, and by the time you read this I hope it's corrected. My boyfriend checks this blog out for mistakes. He reads, sighs, thinks twice of how a soon-to-be English College Teacher ended up with me and my fabulous delusional good english, and correct it. Argh, come to think about it, I always had boyfriends who made me feel crap about my english. Which is good. It's good to have someone to kick my ego in the nuts. Oh well. I are like these. (IT'S A JOKE HONEY LEAVE IT JUST HOW IT IS!)   

I'm hungry. bye