(Squeeze me) Macaroni

Hello,

Sorry I didn't update like I promised. I've been drawing but not as much as I wanted to. I guess it's not that simple. Coming to Norway and expecting to get well all of a sudden. I wish I could. But no. I still have too much in my mind. But here's what I've been drawing lately. Nothing much.

 Here's a W.I.P of Mike Patton sketch. All done with Copic Markers froma photo reference.

My daily walks. Sunny days are rare here, so this was a beautiful day.

Why can't we save everyone? I hate this. I've been depressed lately. Almost the same as when I had my breakdown. My heart is heavy.  I hate myself for worrying so much about people who don't care. I hate spending a lot of energy for them. But most importantly, I hate seeing friends I care suffering and you can't do anything about it. And even worst, when that person is from your own family. What should I do? They complain about it, they grieve, I see and hear with my own eyes and ears that they are suffering. Their tears are falling, and you wipe them but you feel hopeless for them. I feel useless. I can't even draw properly. I can't think about anything else. Because of how sorry I feel for that person. I don't know if I can recover either but who cares? What's the point of recovering if I constantly see pain in my loved ones? My hands are tied. They cry but I can't do anything.  

"- Why everyone I love pick people who treat us like they're nothing?

- We accept the love we think we deserve. "

 Stephen Chbosky in the Perks of being a Wallflower

Bolognesa

Yo!


What is up, guys? The full-time rest week is almost over, and I still feel I'm half way recovered. 62% system recovered after the critical error. Anyways in the meanwhile I've already made my "to do" list, just to keep me on track. As the strong Aries woman that I am, I'm determined to rock the pencils, and improve my skills. It's a need. So I wrote a list so that I won't get lost on what to study next:

(argh my hand writting is hideous! I was trying to make like the girly bloggers I used to follow... I guess I'm not that girly. and notice the inclination to the left. hahaha I suck. and that's enough bashing about my sucky handwriting.)

I did another list, the original was in Portuguese and it was way worst than this (yeah, can you believe it, this isn't my worst). If you still can't understand, its a list of about what I should study everyday, to get my drawing skills improved. I will keep you guys updated anyway.

On my daily walks I was surprised by this lovely sunset. Yeah, I took this with my phone. I feel terrible for not bringing my professional camera. What a lousy tourist I am.

my favourite spot to draw:

 Some sketches... Don't worry, next time I will dedicate a page full of testosterone for you, guys. This was inspired on my favourite daily bloggers, Kayla and Elicia. They are gourgeous and their blog is addicting.

Yeah... Can you believe there's still people like that?

Still filling the page. Argh the quality sucks. Don't mind the naked lady.

Sorry for the bad quality photos. I have a valuable excuse. My laptop won't let me install Photoshop Cs6, because the software is out of date. I'm forced to get an update in order to get the latest Photoshop (because I'm a spoiled brat, that's why) and for that I need to BUY the update then BUY the OS (I'm going for Mountain Lion OS )...

I feel like Michael Corleone when he discovered that Fredo was betraying him in the Godfather II movie.:

"*MUAH, MUAH...!* you broke my heart, Apple. You. Broke. My. Heart."

 my older sister is spoiling me...:

Tattoo fully healed. Self pic cam teeny whore for the win. It's so funny when I get to see teenagers doing self pictures with their camera following with infinite tags. #me #hot #bangme #doIlookHot? #saythati'mbeautifull #Ihavelowself-esteemthat'swhyIpostselfpics. Or maybe I'm old and I'm starting not getting the youngsters  nowadays. *sigh*

Haha, another picture of me in my blog. I'm getting used to this! 

 

take care now, bye bye then.

Pee Ass - What's with the new look on the blog? It's Springtime duh!

Codfish

Heya,

There's not much to tell. So, when I read this blog I forgot to post the last artworks I've done so far. Well here they are.

 An old remake. from Erotica Project. The difference between the two, this  one is coloured, and she's dressed properly. huhuhu

Sanji Sasaki, my alter-ego, can you believe that she exists about 15 years? I made her when I was in the 5th grade. And no, I didn't take her name from Sanji from "One Piece", and her looks from Lara Croft. She existed waaaay before them. Actually she was inspired on Chun-li my official First girl Crush.

Today I visited an old friend. Tica... I missed her so much! wow, this is the first time I post a real picture of me on this blog...And  damn wouldn't you hit that or what? I would :) ... I'm the one in the right in case you didn't notice. Obviously.

I really hope I could make more Artworks to make myself proud. Again.

Ciao!

Hot Dog

Hello!

This weekend has been very progressive for me, I was able to stay home alone and fully enjoy the silence. I can't remember the last time I was able to experience that. Total silence! It felt so good! Usually I listen to some music to get distracted from annoying noises back there in Portugal. I live in a ghetto, so silence there is nearly unknown to me. If its not gipsies screaming at each other on a daily basis ( and they are my next  door neighbours ) it's dogs barking, or cats fighting, cars drifting, cops sirens... oh well. Just the first day here in Havøysund, I felt renewed. Since I had my breakdown I kinda have a cronic headache. Its not a headache precisely, but it's an uncomfortable sensation on the top of my head. Like if I'm carrying heavy Bible-like books piled up on the top of my head. Although yesterday I felt like it was fading, kinda like a steam pot under pressure releasing the steam. I was able to take off the cork out and release whatever was pressuring my head, just  listening to the sound of silence ( not the music, it's literally the sound of silence, like...you get it...).

The day was going out great for me but the weather wasn't tuned with me at all. I was about to meet my sister at her workplace with her niece, when all of the sudden, I was nearly carried away by the wind. And damn... As if my body wasn't freezing  all over, I thought I would never change my facial expression ever (haha and it wasn't a pleasant one either). And my sister's niece was perfectly normal. Pathetic. She is only 5 years old, and she was the one babysitting me: "Bruna!!! You're doing all wrong. You can get caught on the snow storm...". I know Lianne. I was just... I'm ok. " You have to walk like this whenever the wind hits you". Oh... yeah. I know that. I was about to... lets go home, shall we? 

I drew a few things... But still not satisfied. I'm not forcing anything, but sometimes it is fustrating. I want to draw. Feel like drawing something. Not just "Ok, Bruna. You really need to snap ou of it! DRAW GODDAMMIT DRAW!" No, not this. It will start all over again. 

 what's wrong with this people??? Is it friggin' freezing or its just me...?

I tried to meditate on Saturday. It feels nice, this is the right place for it. But of course, like all the first times it was a mess. Didn't dress properly, uncomfortable positions, tried every positions to reach and... I'm still talking about meditation you pervs. But I'm willing to pratice more. Thanks to my great spiritual-Zen-Fenshui'ish friend Darsy. He taught me how. About 2 months ago. But I googled it. Oh internet...

Oh and... I'm sorry in advance for my mistakes. My english its not very accurate, and by the time you read this I hope it's corrected. My boyfriend checks this blog out for mistakes. He reads, sighs, thinks twice of how a soon-to-be English College Teacher ended up with me and my fabulous delusional good english, and correct it. Argh, come to think about it, I always had boyfriends who made me feel crap about my english. Which is good. It's good to have someone to kick my ego in the nuts. Oh well. I are like these. (IT'S A JOKE HONEY LEAVE IT JUST HOW IT IS!)   

I'm hungry. bye

Scrambled eggs

Hey there,
Since yesterday I've been travelling to Havøysund and I can tell you how much it sucks travelling alone. Yesterday I blogged the last entry on the hotel in Oslo. Why did my sister have to live so damn far away? Oh well. I hate airports. I hate going through security. I don't know why, I always feel guilty. I don't have anything to hide but I always have the weird thought that I might have a chemical weapon which can spread an unknown virus and start a  zombie apocalipse amidst my stuff. Oh well. If I can't bring a bomb at least they are nice enough to grant me a knife on board. Muahaha. I'm not joking they really did.
I've been sketching... Nothing much, though I'm still recovering, and I still use it as a stress relief. I don't have the inspiration or the urge to make something really great. But since I left Portugal I finally feel relaxed, maybe I really had to take a break from what surrounded me back there. Even family and boyfriend. I miss them but my well being screams for rest and meditation. It screams so loud that I can barely feel/hear other feelings like yearning. I have this thing in hotels, it's like a ritual and i'm sure I am not the only one. I love to take immersion baths ( don't know if this is correct I hope you get the point) fill the bathtub with hot steamy water, listening to relaxing music and... The rest is history. :]
I hate this plane to Alta. It's far north of Norway. And the weather sucks big time. It's a place where it has daylight for 6 months and night for other 6 months. Probably this was the last time I enjoyed a good NIGHT of sleep. I won't have any night from now on until June.
Sorry to not upload the photos in the right order. I'm blogging on the phone because I'm lazy.
See ya next time