(Squeeze me) Macaroni

Hello,

Sorry I didn't update like I promised. I've been drawing but not as much as I wanted to. I guess it's not that simple. Coming to Norway and expecting to get well all of a sudden. I wish I could. But no. I still have too much in my mind. But here's what I've been drawing lately. Nothing much.

 Here's a W.I.P of Mike Patton sketch. All done with Copic Markers froma photo reference.

My daily walks. Sunny days are rare here, so this was a beautiful day.

Why can't we save everyone? I hate this. I've been depressed lately. Almost the same as when I had my breakdown. My heart is heavy.  I hate myself for worrying so much about people who don't care. I hate spending a lot of energy for them. But most importantly, I hate seeing friends I care suffering and you can't do anything about it. And even worst, when that person is from your own family. What should I do? They complain about it, they grieve, I see and hear with my own eyes and ears that they are suffering. Their tears are falling, and you wipe them but you feel hopeless for them. I feel useless. I can't even draw properly. I can't think about anything else. Because of how sorry I feel for that person. I don't know if I can recover either but who cares? What's the point of recovering if I constantly see pain in my loved ones? My hands are tied. They cry but I can't do anything.  

"- Why everyone I love pick people who treat us like they're nothing?

- We accept the love we think we deserve. "

 Stephen Chbosky in the Perks of being a Wallflower

Scrambled eggs

Hey there,
Since yesterday I've been travelling to Havøysund and I can tell you how much it sucks travelling alone. Yesterday I blogged the last entry on the hotel in Oslo. Why did my sister have to live so damn far away? Oh well. I hate airports. I hate going through security. I don't know why, I always feel guilty. I don't have anything to hide but I always have the weird thought that I might have a chemical weapon which can spread an unknown virus and start a  zombie apocalipse amidst my stuff. Oh well. If I can't bring a bomb at least they are nice enough to grant me a knife on board. Muahaha. I'm not joking they really did.
I've been sketching... Nothing much, though I'm still recovering, and I still use it as a stress relief. I don't have the inspiration or the urge to make something really great. But since I left Portugal I finally feel relaxed, maybe I really had to take a break from what surrounded me back there. Even family and boyfriend. I miss them but my well being screams for rest and meditation. It screams so loud that I can barely feel/hear other feelings like yearning. I have this thing in hotels, it's like a ritual and i'm sure I am not the only one. I love to take immersion baths ( don't know if this is correct I hope you get the point) fill the bathtub with hot steamy water, listening to relaxing music and... The rest is history. :]
I hate this plane to Alta. It's far north of Norway. And the weather sucks big time. It's a place where it has daylight for 6 months and night for other 6 months. Probably this was the last time I enjoyed a good NIGHT of sleep. I won't have any night from now on until June.
Sorry to not upload the photos in the right order. I'm blogging on the phone because I'm lazy.
See ya next time

BrB

Wait....

I just need some rest.

...